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Based on a True Story

This blog is based on the true story of the real life struggles of a boy who didn’t want to.

Didn’t want to what? Well, he didn’t want to go to his brother’s doctor appointment and he didn’t want to go to religious education camp at church and he didn’t want to clean his room and he didn’t want to get up early for swim team and he didn’t want to take a shower and he didn’t want to do this and he didn’t want to that.

I reminded him that at one point in his life he didn’t want to go pee-pee on the potty either and look how well that turned out, and maybe he should have a little faith that the things I force him to do are really not so bad and he’ll actually be grateful to me in the long run. Response: MAJOR EYEROLL. Like, I don’t know how he can actually ever see straight out of his eyes again he rolled them so far back in his head. Like he pulled an eye muscle eyeroll.

My daughter is rapidly approaching 13 and the twins are 10 and they are all candidates for the USA Olympic Eyerolling Team. We are actively seeking sponsors and this team spends several hours each day in intense training. The nice thing about this sport is that you can practice it anywhere. You don’t need a team or even any equipment except for eyeballs. A simple request to unload the dishwasher can begin the day’s practice, or you can wait until you are leaving the house for a something you are running late for and realize that no one got the things they need ready and then you can remind them - like, “well, since it’s a swim meet I assume you all have your towels” and WHAM - eyeroll city.

My mother says it’s a genetic trait, and that they get it from me - which may be true as I find myself mimicking this behavior like a primate whenever they dish it out. I guess I’m their coach? I feel like Serena’s dad, coaching along a champion. It feels good.

Does anyone have a number for someone at Nike?

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