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Every Day is a Joy

I wake up, rested and refreshed, each day around 6, and emerge from the cocoon of my down comforter. I do a few sun salutations to greet the day, reflecting on the latest entry in my daily gratitude journal and looking at my immaculate home with peace and satisfaction.

My children - happily in their tweens and teens, arrive at the breakfast table dressed for school with their hair brushed, their backpacks packed, and all of their paperwork signed and filed appropriately. They are most definitely not wearing what they slept in or anything rumpled; their laundry is always sorted, folded and promptly put away. Marie Kondo is naming her next method after me.

Once my children leave for school, eager and alert, I immediately clean the kitchen from the whole grain waffles I made (from scratch) for breakfast, and I chop organic vegetables so that dinner is a snap and preparing ahead of time means we can all eat together as a family, cutting down on their likelihood of future drug use and giving us the family time that ensures future success - despite having to get to enriching extra-curriculars like elite sports and challenging (but fun!) STEAM activities.

Time to get to work! My compensation package is more than fair - in fact, I suspect I am *better* paid than men in the same industry. My work is fulfilling and flexible at the same time. Flexibility of course is key, but everyone knows this and we are all leaning in and out to suit the needs of our children, aging parents that may need help, and able to help in the classroom as often as we’d like. During lunch time, I eat a freshly prepared salad and then enjoy an intense 45-minute workout, returning to my desk having burned enough calories to keep me trim and fit, and yet appearing as if I’ve never sweated a moment in my life. My hair would never retain a ponytail bump and my skin - flawless and with only the barest hint of laugh lines - is definitely not red and flushed for the remainder of the afternoon.

After school, my children complete their homework without prompting and often ask for extra-credit work, wanting to make sure they really understand the material. Often their studies will lead us to a full family discussion on empathy, world issues, and voluntarism - they are so evolved and up-to-date on current events, including Brexit - and these talks will inspire us to spend our school holidays doing volunteer work to help those less fortunate.

Cleaning the kitchen after a wholesome family meal is actually fun - a little playful dishsoap battle has us all laughing together and no one gets frustrated or exasperated. Ever. After dinner my spouse and I enjoy quiet time by the fire, sharing fully in household responsibilities like bill-paying and laundry-folding. Since the children always practice excellent hygiene and straighten up after themselves - including bringing any glasses or dishes to the kitchen immediately after use - we don’t have to spend our evenings reminding them to take care of these things. Getting a good night’s sleep is everyone’s priority, and so without argument our tweens and teen charge their devices and head to bed, never forgetting to brush their teeth or put their retainers in.

April Fools.

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