Parenting Badges

You know how scouts earn badges to show the world they’ve achieved a certain level? New scouts have the simple ones - but they get more complex over time and by the time you achieve Eagle Scout or get the GS Gold Award, you are doing some pretty sophisticated stuff. It’s the same with parenting. The Diaper Blow Out Badge is a simple achievement, awarded to almost every participant; the Diaper Blow Out on an Airplane is next level. Here are a few others:

Scary World Badge: Earned by allowing child to go to restroom in public place like restaurant. LEVEL UP: allow child to attend sporting event or concert unaccompanied.

Superhuman Badge: Arrive on time and appropriately dressed to important family occasion. LEVEL UP: include overnight travel.

The Worst Badge: Public Vomit. LEVEL UP: in a really challenging venue like airplane or on stage at school play.

Uncomfortable But Necessary Badge: Daughter’s tampon pick up. LEVEL UP: and then deliver item to her in a public place, possibly involving the kindness of strangers (badges only awarded to dads)

Not Today Satan Badge: Show up without an appointment at school or physician and demand to be seen out of desperation and sheer exhaustion. LEVEL UP: cry (badge only awarded to moms)

No Badge: Tell your child “no” when “all the other moms” say yes. LEVEL UP: do it in front of the other moms, and give your reasons.

Seriously No Badge: Tell your child no when the GRANDPARENTS say yes. LEVEL UP: make it the in-laws.

Tech Free Badge: Take away all electronics. LEVEL UP: include yourself in the challenge and turn off your own phone.

What badges are you working on?

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