Conductor: Gotta keep the trains running on time. Give her a conductor hat and hang a whistle from her neck - she can alert everyone in listening range when it’s time to board, which train is going where, and what they need for their journey. She knows which family members will intersect with other family members and when, in order to change tracks and have everyone arrived unscathed at their final destination. All aboard! Clipboard sold separately.
Referee: No one makes sure everyone’s playing by the rules quite like Ref Mom. She’s ready to hand out yellow cards when necessary, she can send everyone to the penalty box for 15 minutes when she needs a break, and she knows exactly when to make a call of unnecessary roughness. With her, the score is always Love-Love. Game on!
Chauffeur: Black blazer and driver’s cap and she’s off to shuttle them everywhere. Literally EVERYWHERE. Podcasts, audiobooks, and GPS not included.
Chef / Short Order Cook: From fancy to fast, Chef Mom knows who likes what, how small it needs to be diced, the appropriate amount of spice tolerated by each member fo the family, and where all the components needed are located. She can bring home the bacon AND fry it up - although she may be too worn out to do the dishes too! Apron and oven mitts sold separately.
Medical Personnel: Yanking loose teeth and applying bandages are in all in a day’s work for Dr. Mom, who doesn’t exactly have her medical degree but she does have google and FB Moms Group, and honestly, what’s the difference? Scrubs, bandages, and a set of tweezers are all she needs to get that splinter out and get you back on the playground. Stethoscope not included.
Psychic: She can predict the future - like the bad grade you’ll get if you don’t study for your test, how your stomach will hurt if you eat that, and how you’ll lose your AirPods for good if you keep leaving them places. It’s amazing what she can see in her crystal ball and read from her tarot cards.
Detective: With her trusty magnifying glass, Mom P.I. can solve any mystery - like who finished the cereal, who left the sink such a mess and her personal favorite: the case of the missing homework.
Maid: Frilly apron, feather duster and voila! - she’s got it covered. Of course, the cute apron won’t stand up to the actual industrial strength cleaning necessary for the visit from the stomach bug, but don’t worry - she knows where the extra vacuum bags are, exactly how many more loads of laundry are necessary at any given time, and where the puke bucket is kept in between session. She’s got this! Just add Scrub Daddy.
Wizard: Someone, she makes it all happen seemingly by magic - cloak and wand included.
Happy Halloween! No costumes necessary.