The Class

Remember The Class? When I grew up, it was an evening event in the cafetorium of my elementary school on Long Island. Mothers and daughters watched a grainy film about The Change and there was probably some awkward Q&A, and then the girls whispered about it for months afterward. We had the Girl Bible - Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret - to help us with figuring out the details, although it seemed that Margaret and the PTS were using contraptions we knew nothing about.

I’m here to tell you that the view isn’t any better from here. Do I need dermaplaning? Microblading? The internet (our current version of the Girl Bible) is filled with promotions for these things. Are they necessary? Are they helpful? Are they expensive because I need to be really dialing up the college savings and also if my kids consider joining a travel team we will be in the poorhouse. And I need to invest in a lighted magnifying mirror and the best pair of industrial tweezers this side of the Mississippi River.

Where is the adult class we need? Is there an American Girl book for moms? Chapters can include things like Your Metabolism and Why It Hates You, Reading Glasses 101, You Can’t Eat Dairy Any More, and JLo Is An Anomaly.

While we’re at it, why can’t I remember anything? The CRS (can’t remember sh!t) is becoming a real problem. Did I already tell you that? I can’t remember.

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