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Ages and Stages

This weekend, we celebrated the upcoming nuptials of friends with a little party at our house - a chance to toast the bride and groom and get to know some of the people we’d be celebrating with during the wedding weekend in November.

When I was the bride’s age, she was like 10 - and it would be SO AWKWARD to be hanging out with a tween when you are in your twenties. But now, we are both professional adult women. Now, t’s perfectly natural for use to be friends even though we differ so drastically in age. In fact, it’s more than natural - it’s necessary. The friends of different ages are also in different stages - and everyone can learn from one another. I share the wisdom of my experience, she lends a fresh perspective. And because we are in such different stages, there is no comparing and contrasting - which we know we shouldn’t do and we don’t always do but sometimes you can’t help but measure your own accomplishments against those of your peers. There is none of that here, and it is so refreshing.

And fun! Of course keeping up with the younger friends feels a lot different on a Friday night than it does on a Saturday morning. But still, after a trip to Five Guys and a few Advil, the perspective remains.

Guiding teenage daughter and friends through friendship analyses has given me my own fresh perspective on friendship, and COVID crystallized it even more — all the adages are true. Make new friends, but keep the old (until the old turns out to be intentionally cruel); friends are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime; show me who your friends are and I’ll show you who you are; true true true.

Who knew that one of the gifts of your 40s would be new friendships, and not just chin hair and readers??

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